A while ago there was a post about "Gilbertian" boat names, fresh off a plane from warmer climes I went last night to the ENO to see their reprise of Jonathan Millers The Mikado it is proof of how fresh it can still remain: it comes up as gleaming as its all-white set every time. Ko-Ko’s Lord High Executioner, meanwhile, ensures 
that it’s also as fresh as yesterday’s headlines with the traditional topical updating of the “little list/of society offenders who might well be 
underground/and who never would be missed”, should he be called upon to fulfil 
his job description and take an axe to someone’s head. 
Last night, the Lib-Dem saga threw up three candidates: 

”The ex-leader of the Lib Dems who was hounded by the press
Two bottles of malt whisky is not drinking to excess
And the other who has done something politically verboten
He frequented a rent boy just to get more of his oaten
And def’nitely the one who swinging both ways does insist
Simple Simon’s on my list – this is the pinkest list”
Also getting mentions were "no fingerprints" Abu Hamza and Ruth Kelly plus "Ming" (another Lib Dem allusion) and the destroyed Ming Vases at the Fitzwilliam Museum at Cambridge!
However,
The biggest laugh – and cheer – last night went up for a reference to the ENO’s 
own recent difficulties: 
”And the ENO Board who really had their knickers in a twist
The Chair was on my list – I don’t think he’ll be missed”

But if ENO ever retire this production, it certainly would be missed. On current 
reckoning, however, that is a long way away from happening. 

It is almost as good as racing in mid-summer even if two tickets would buy a Merlin Spinnaker!
AG.

in short, in matters vegetable, animal or mineral......

Though of course The Modern Major General of Pirates rather than Ko Ko of Mikado!

if you want a receipt for that popular mystery.....

Do we have the "Patience" to continue this I hope so its rather fun.

In the light of the recent terrorist case and decision as to prosecute it would appear that "a policeman's lot is not a happy one" but they obviously decided "they'll run them in"!! (Tar an tar ah).

When I was a lad with cash in pocket,
My attention turned to a Merlin Rocket,
I replaced the ribs on Secret Water,
And I polished up the hull like Proctor said I oughta!
I polished up the hull so carefully
That this Easter I'll be sailing out of Dalgety ......


Along with a few others - don't forget to put your name down!!

But who is this, whose god-like grace
Proclaims he comes of noble race?

I always liked the following which was expurgated from Iolanthe around the trun of the century it seems a pity because its very apposite today.
"How odd of God to choose the Jews,
But not as odd
As those who choose
A Jewish God
And spurn the Jews".

We sail the ocean blue,
And our saucy ship's a beauty;
We're sober men and true,
And attentive to our duty.
When the balls whistle free 
O'er the bright blue sea,
We stand to our guns all day; 
When at anchor we ride
On the Portsmouth tide,
We have plenty of time to play.
Ahoy! Ahoy! Ahoy !

(okay, so it lacks a little context)

This is all great fun - perhaps Mags could set up a "Wrinklies" forum for us!!

I shot an arrow in the sky
Where it went know not Eeeeek!

There has to be "The very model of a Merlin Merlin Sailor"
I'm working on it!

I am the very model of a modern Merlin helmsman,
I’ve information carbon, with epoxy I’ll o’erwhelm ‘em,
I know the rake of rigging and the tension of the stainless shrouds
But should I overdo it – well the swearing it gets very loud.

I’m rather well acquainted too with matters of the centreboard,
It’s angle, depth and profile so that on the beat I’m overlord,
I’m an expert on the weight and distribution of the crew you know,
Coz in the gusts you get it wrong and sure as hell it’s in you go.

I dream each night of rudders, masts and booms all sheathed in mystery,
As carbon is the stuff  for me and wood – well it’s just history,
But as an elder statesman of the fleet who sails the Vintage Wing,
I hope with foam and plastic in my boat there’ll be a final fling.

I’ve gained a reputation round the pubs of sunny Salcombe,
But on the sea my tactics are all aimed at trying to baulk ‘em
Each year I hope to head the fleet and give it all a damn good go
As I’m rather good at working out the currents of the ebb and flow.

I have each halyard in my hands in colours matched and coded,
Twin poles complete with auto-launch – my lead is ne’er eroded
When it comes to all the finesse of the hoisting of the spinnaker
Experience has shown that I’m really not a ninny (ker)!!

My boat is far from new you know but has the very latest spec
I take to sea with hope in heart and loaded with the highest tech,
But all attempts to win the prize just seem to lead to failure
I am the very model of a modern Merlin sailor!!!

Gary this excellent!

just brilliant

he does it 'on compulsion'