i need a job!!!!!!!!!!!

on the web:
jobsite.co.uk
jobserve.co.uk
totaljobs.com
fish4jobs.co.uk
monster.co.uk
jobsearch.co.uk
jobs.co.uk

and others via Google

What sort of job Ben?

Dear Ben,
Wish you luck!
you could try Raj Kapoor on 01932 874578 or 07976 851688, he is one of the good guys, he's found me lots of good candidates. Alternaively give me your e-mail and I'll see what we've got too.
AG

Give my mate Steve a ring - in London though

Email me for his number/email address

Hi Ben, 

I know a guy in southampton he deals exclusivly with jobs in the marine industry.
his name is James Ward but go on his web site:
www.marineresources.co.uk, or call on 02380 633399.

Hope it helps

The thing to remember about �recruitment consultants� aka �soul salesmen� is that the only thing of relevance to them is their commission.  If you keep that in mind you�ll save yourself a lot of confusion and frustration.

If they believe that they currently have an opening that they stand a good chance of placing you into they are your very bestest friend in the whole wide world.  You receive many matey phone calls and offers of beer/dinner etc.

If you�re a potential recruiter your bestest mate will be so far up your arse that you can only hear his muffled voice coming from your nose.

If you want a job and he doesn�t have anything suitable at the moment, or he�s got a better candidate he probably won�t even answer the phone.  It�ll be answered by a colleague who after checking who you are will �take a message�.

Get on the job sites mentioned above and get on the phone.  Remember that it�s a numbers game and the bloke you�re talking to is a couple of steps below an estate agent.  Don�t take it personally.

That's so true!!!

Ever been sent for an interview for a job that didn't exist?

Ever answered an ad on Jobserve for a job that they ain't actually got registered with them?

Every registered with one only to have one of them ringing your current employer saying "We hear your guy is thinking of leaving, fancy somebody new?"

Bah........

And then when you're not looking for a job the same b*****d who wouldn�t answer your calls when you did want a job is ringing you to try to get you to look at a job spec for something you have no interest in.  Useless git.

So whats wrong with Estate Agents then??

Generalising is great fun but sooner or later someone's going to get their feelings hurt.

Can we slag off GP14's instead?

Like your thinking Jon! I know what Estate Agents are like but we are not all bad we just play piggy in the middle and pass bad news around.

What is the point in a GP14 then?

I think "the point" is that stupid sticky out bit of metal they have stuck to the bow to stop their spinnaker sheets going under the bow because they helms are soooooooooooooooooo busy they can't pick the guy up.............

Metal catchers are against GP14 class rules for many years , ever since one went through someones hand, so you can through out any GP14 racing against you in a h/cap race that has one as out of class and dangerous.

Hmm, one at our club

GP with catcher that is, and an estate agent, and his GP doesn't have a catcher, and he's rather good really........  Just can't persuade him to buy a merlin.....

I can't wait for completion to be rid of the smarmy git estate agent who keeps ringing up and saying "... and how are we today?" and other such patronisingly unctuous phrases. You can almost see the oil oozing!

From the experiences of the last three years I can certify that estate agents, recruitment agents, ex partners and solicitors all fall into that same category - avoid them like the plague!!

And no - for all the agencies and agents I've ever tried I've always got jobs only through answering direct adverts.

Scottish system of bidding has always worked for me.  No messing about, submit offer and get it accepted or rejected.  You bid what you can afford and you don't go beyond.  Once we get the seller's pack in place then there will be no more surveyor's fees  (now they ARE the biggest rip off with multiple charging to each prospective buyer for one survey!!).

Been There! You would soon be complaining if you did not get any calls at all wouldn't you!! Trust me as an estate agent you cannot win. No matter how good a job you do someone will complain about it. Either that or the Solicitor will hold things up and we will get the blame for it anyway. I bet you are the type of person who complains about every thing no matter how small and insignificant?

My solicitors I can recomend they are in Lemington Spa and seriously their name is Wright Hassel & Co! They cut thr crap do a good job and refuse to pay excess surveys etc.

Will look up Wright Hassel and Co when I am down there in a couple of weeks!!  I have seen a firm of solicitors in Sligo, Ireland called Argue and Cheek!!!   In Belfast there is an Opticians called I.Strain.   Any other genuine funnies?

Garry,

Are you moving down here?

Will you be sailing at Banbury if you do?

The South Western Representative for Gull Marine clothing and buoyancy aids is called Will Drown.

Our school chaplain was the Rev Heavenor and he had a colleague whose car had the registration JES 999.  At a different point in my life, my doctor was Dr Crocker.

There was a funeral director in London Called Skinner & Bone!

We had a boy at school who was always called by the Staff "Gravesend" it was only a couple of years back looking at the "Blue Book" - Old Boys - that I saw his real name and made the connection he is "Justin Kent"! The boy known as "Daventry" was easier his initials were "LW" (Long Wave transmitter is/was at Daventry!