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Merlin TerminologyDan Alsop give us the Essential Definitions for all who sail Merlin Rockets - Spring 2002 |
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Many newcomers to the class tend to be over-awed by the jargon used in our sport. So in
my capacity as Training Officer I have selected a few specialist terms more or less at
random, and have added my personal understanding and comments, which I do hope will
make life easier for novice and tyro alike. CARBON FIBRE Euphemism for any material with the following characteristics: Colour - black Cost - absolutely outrageous Life expectancy - 7 to 10 working days Market - sportsmen and women with more money than sense Habitat - prolific distribution in Merlin Rocket fleet BUOYANCY TEST Mythical quasi-religious ritual fully described in Class Rules as being obligatory for all Merlin Rockets on an annual basis. However the last reported sighting of a test actually confirmed by an independent witness, was at Ranelagh in January 1952. Now superseded by annual series of secret and solitary activities featuring procrastination, wringing of hands, guilt-ridden midnight session of forgery in darkened room, and ongoing perjury. WING MAST Linear device guaranteed to convert the fastest boat in the fleet into a dog overnight - correction, two nights (this being the time it takes to put one up). Its great advantage over the humble sea-anchor is its ability to entertain the opposition through spectacular and repetitive structural failures whilst simultaneously bankrupting the unfortunate purchaser. PULLER Rocket sailor between the ages of 14 and 25. SPINNAKER POLE Stowable tubular device cunningly suspended in space and semi-automatic in action. The latter ensures that when required for service the outer end automatically and instantaneously severs any connection it may have had with the spinnaker whilst the inner end clamps itself securely and irrevocably to miscellaneous rigging, crew's anatomy, clothing, etc. LOWERS Those private parts of Merlin sailors' anatomies located just below the waist. Correct usage rarely understood and certainly never practised in this particular fleet, leading to a minor epidemic of inversion, for which there is no known cure. THE DROP Another delicate subject. In the past the redoubtable Jennie King has written with authority on the best technique. I can do no better than bow to superior knowledge and refer you to her worthy expositions. CENTREBOARD A secure vantage point for the helmsman to occupy whilst blaming the crew for capsizing the boat. SPINNAKER CHUTE Corruption of 'shoot'. So named because the fiendish device is supposed to ensure that the spinnaker will shoot up into the sky and set perfectly within 2 seconds of the helmsman giving the order to hoist. By bizarre coincidence shoot is also the word that springs to the same helmsman's mind 2 minutes later when far from flying skywards the same spinnaker has disappeared under the boat, a tangle of knots sufficient to challenge the famous Houdini has ungulted the centreboard, the crew lies prostrate on the foredeck and the boat has stopped dead in the water. In this latter case the unfortunate crew is of course the target and the tiller extension has become an imaginary sawn-off shotgun. TROLLEY Tubular wheeled device ridden by purchasers of Merlin Rockets. The device is notoriously unstable and the ride inevitably brief (hence the expression "off one's trolley"). PROTEST Unpopular administrative arrangement devised by temperate spoilsports for curtailing valuable drinking time. BAR Hazard to navigation, usually awash and littered with wrecked Merlin sailors. RACING RULES A handy book of jokes thoughtfully published by the RYA to pass the time on windless days. |